The biggest culture shock came when we realized what all we could do by ourselves and what all we needed to be with guys for. For most places in the town we live with, we have to ask someone in the office to come with us and wait for him to be not busy. Then usually he doesn’t want to be seen alone with two girls in the village, so we have to wait till he finds someone else to come with us = because apparently two boys and two girls is ok, for some reason. Any small errand usually takes a couple of hours at this rate. Last weekend we wanted to go rent a movie to watch. One person was supposed to take us but he was busy. So we sat around the office and chitchatted. Eventually we realized that he wasn’t finding anyone to go with him. So randomly without telling us, he left and went home. We had wanted to watch the movie during the afternoon. By this time it was 4ish. Completely frustrated, we sat around and read the Hindi-English dictionary. Finally, a guy who isn’t from this village realized that we were sitting around bored. So he came and asked me what movie we wanted. I told him I don’t know. So he says, well let me go get some new one. I was very frustrated at this point and said, the whole point is for us to see where the store is so next time we can go ourselves. At which point, he said, O ok, but even then next time you want to go I’ll come with you because you probably shouldn’t go there without anyone.
I am not sure if this is because we are new to the town and everyone looks at us strangely or whether all women are subject to these rules. The organization only has one other female, who is older and has been here for years. She goes by herself but also has built rapport in the town.
As for me, I am torn as usual between wanting to obey the town rules since we’re only here for a short time and we want to have a good reputation in the community. At the same time, there is definitely not much exploring we can do by ourselves. I usually stick to trying to obey the rules because as it is we are breaking a lot of other rules – wandering around with boys not related to us, dressing differently, talking to anybody we meet (including strange men – usually the shopkeepers). So as to not appear completely progressive, “modern” – in the negative sense, I guess I am ok asking for permission and being accompanied to places. I joke that I have more restrictions here than my parents ever put on me (most likely to my parents relief).
Another cultural difference that is going to be hard to get used to, even though we already are, is the hospitality and politeness that is inherent in people here. And I know that it usually comes off as a good thing. But for example, if we ask to go somewhere or say something like, may we come with you to a village? It might be a huge inconvenience or the person may be busy and can’t take us anywhere at the moment. But no one will ever say no, or even, I can’t go now but maybe in a couple hours (even if that’s when we end up going). Once again it is frustrating because if its not ok, just tell us. We won’t be offended, but its better than saying, I can come with you in 10 minutes and then clearly having to rearrange things to take us somewhere. It is also not conducive to us asking people to come with us places, which at the same time they want us to do. Therefore, usually I’m not sure of what I should do in any given situation. So the daily interactions are full of contradictions and miscommunications that make life so much more entertaining. Tanvi and I have an “Awkward Moment of the Day” which we discuss at the end of the day. The award usually goes to a situation and person although all guys here are awkward at some level, at some point in the day.
No comments:
Post a Comment